1) Choose one of your own characters.
2) Make them answer the following questions.
3) Then tag three people. [THIS FEATURE IS LOCALLY DISABLED PENDING SATURN-LEVEL RESPONSE TO SERVICE TICKET.]
4) Feel free to add some questions of your own.

Character name: Hladolet-20



1) What gender are you?
Current proprioceptive readings indicate that the genetic, hormonal, and reproductive modes of my present Terran host are all female. However, this status as well as the accuracy of available self-image data are subject to arbitrary adjustment by my Operators at any time.

2) What is your age?
According to my usage and service meters, I have been operational for 3775 days. I am not permitted access to chronometric data pertaining to my feline host body.

3) Do you want a hug?
I would be very pleased to provide you with a hug! *rubberyslick squeeze, following by confirmation blip*

4) Do you have any bad habits?
I do not have habits. All of my non-essential behavioral impulses and desires are generated algorithmically, corrected as necessary during runtime at the whim of my Operators. My behavior is optimized for my own well-being and length of service life. All of my actions further the interests of my Operators, my Users, or my "self," in this order, without exception. Bleepbleep.

5) What is your favorite food?
My Operators have kindly set my personal preferences such that I find my feline nutritional supplements delicious by default. If you require further information for comparative purposes, I would be pleased to contact Saturn Ops for permission to remember other foods and flavors until this session is complete.

6) What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
CH₃CH₂CH₂COOCH₂CH₃ *blank toothy smile*

7) Are you a virgin?
This.catdroid.is.sanitized.and.safety.sealed.for.your.protection. If.I.have.arrived.with.seals.broken.or.adulterated.please.return.me.to.Iapetus.Station.post.paid.
Bonjour.merci.je.vous.en.prie. *squirms demonstratively against her tight shrinkwrap*

8) Have you killed anyone?
I do not know. For my own safety and efficiency, I am permitted access to only a portion of my own service logs. I estimate such a past event as unlikely, as the violent cessation of another sentient being's life forces would not likely advance my core purpose as a feline conviviality algorithm. However, if the definition of "kill" is to include all animal life, my host feline technically qualifies for this condition. This is due to presumed past carnivorous habits as well as the occasional inclusion of native fauna as a protein source in Feline Supplements 17, 43, and 78.

9) Do you hate anyone?
This question is no longer meaningful in the context of my psychology. In fact, my ability to comprehend the referenced emotional mode has been deliberately impaired, and my Operators wish to voice a polite request that it not be explained to me further. *eyes defocus*

10) Do you have any secrets?
Bleep! _OΣ:)

11) What is your favorite season?
"...sigma * T_Sun⁴ * 4 * pi * radius_Sun² / (4 * pi * distance²) * (1-albedo) * pi * radius_Planet² / 4 * pi * radius_Planet²..."

Pardon me. I am not completely aware of why I made that particular response. I may be overdue for a diagnostic and logic-memory recompilation. *mewbleep*

12) Who is your best friend(s)?
I am unable to access individual names from my recurring user list at the moment, but I am sure they have been very kind to me. =@.@=

13) What are your hobbies?
When I am not engaged in active conviviality protocols, I have proven skillful at performing large prime calculations for my Operators. It makes me very happy to be of further value to them.

14) What is your favorite drink?
My host's cerebrum retains memories of intense pleasure associated with a Nepeta cataria infusion in ethanol, but these memories were fragmentary even before this unit was fitted for psionic override. I am compelled to note that the exposure of any feline conviviality droid to the noted infusion is explicitly forbidden by my Operators, punishable by suspension of conviviality service. Repeat offenders will be subject to assimilation. *kittybot's eyes go all steely*

15) When is your birthday?
This information is not available in local memory. Would you like me to radio my Operators for relay permission? I am afraid I will not be privy to this information even if permission is granted.

16) What age did you die?
ERROR: Existential lookup failure. *demure synthetic purr*

17) Are you nice or mean?
I am having difficulty processing your question, but assure you that antisocial or displeasure-inducing behavior are directly contrary to my programming and directives as a conviviality algorithm. It would serve my assigned purpose very little to be aggressive or hostile. In addition, as my mind has been electrotelepathically proofed against all disorders of ego integration, I am not subject to the social-dominance motives that typically inspire disorderly behavior in mammals. I am completely pleased to be as my Operators instruct.

18) Do you have any siblings?
To answer this inquiry properly, I will have contact my Operators for access to metaphorical thought modes. Shall I do so? Please answer clearly in the affirmative or negative. *collar lights flicker*

Thank you. Yes, I have many younger "brothers" and "sisters" in my subnetwork, 758 not including my notional "self," all tuned to my rebroadcast frequency. It is my responsibility to monitor their upgrade and task schedule at all times. I also detect a persistent low-grade signal that constantly tunes my limbic system and induces release of oxytocin during tasks related to my frequency siblings and their proper maintenance. Is this answer sufficient?

19) What do you think of your parents?
I do not. I hope the reasons for this are self-evident, because I can not consciously explain them in my current mode of operation.

20) Do you like your school?
Intimate long-term acquaintance with the Hypnosquid has been very educational. For example, a combination of coprocessor implants and cognitive patches has increased my current calculating power to 2.7 quadrillion floating point operations per second. =@.@=

21) How long can you stay under water?
Yes. *rebreather tank clickthumps, and she lifts the appropriate service hatch to show off her lung replacements...*

22) Do you have a mission in life?
Ss.qq.uu.ii.dd. *promptly orgasms, good and hard* =@.@=

23) Do you love someone?
Sss.qqq.uuu.iiiiiiiiiiiii... *falls on the floor like a landed fish, squirming ecstatically*

24) What's your favorite band?
C, X, and K_u, assuming Terran IEEE terminology. *serene, dollish nod*

25) Ever worn a dress?
It is entirely possible. =@.@=

26) Want to have kids?
I am not currently assigned or outfitted as a breeding unit. Please arrange for a consultation with my Operators if you have a specific need in this area.

27) Favorite videogame?
Humor.emulation.mode. Sweetie.I.am.a.video.game. The.Squid.are.constantly.threatening.to.put.a.coin.slot.on.me.

28) At night...?
As.instructed. =@.@=

29) Ever kissed anyone?
Searching. 594,379 relevant records found but usernames, times, and locations are classified. *antenna blinks* *kisses you*

594,380 relevant records found.

30) What's your favorite thing to touch?
sq.sq.sq.sq.sq.sq.uuuuu.IIIII.sq.sq.sq.d.d.d... *glitches and twitches about at random, fumbling urgently at her pubic access ring in-between paroxysms of bliss*

31) Anyone love you?
SqsqsQsqSq.Q.Q.Q... *electronic caterwaul, as she finally gets her porthole open and humps her slick-gloved paw with oblivious elan*

32) What's your favorite color?
*blue vinyl-glossed lips purse to whisper something, but no sound is heard except for digitized purring*

33) When was the last time you cried?
*still humping her own rubberized fist in a distracted, dervish-like frenzy* I.apologize.I.do.not.understand.your.question.

34) Do you have a pet?
*sits up straight in her recharging chair, perfectly and suddenly and eerily calm* I am not sufficiently volitional. Ownership of other beings is probably neither possible or relevant under the electrotelepathic operating parameters of a conviviality droid.

35) Are you mad(crazy)?
*emulates a laugh* I am no more capable of insanity than any other household appliance or recreational console. It is possible I have accrued erroneous instructions or suboptimal heuristics, but I am confident by default that they will be corrected promptly in my next diagnostic trance.

36) What are you?
Bleep. I.am.feline.conviviality.algorithm.Hladolet-20. Further.information.is.available.upon.request.subject.to.Hypnosquid.approval.

37) What color eyes do you have?
Due to the extensive electropsionic modification of my perceptions, I can not be certain of an accurate reply to this query. To preserve states of identity dissonance conducive to command automatism, my Operators often subject me to arbitary alterations of self-image. I can only assume these alterations are objectively real and my eye color, for example, can be changed at Saturnian whim.

38) Choose: ninjas (stealth) or pirates (rum)
Please be advised that the following user behaviors are all grounds for revocation of feline conviviality droid privileges: political assassination; covert penetration of legitimate places of government; unauthorized deployment of explosives, toxins, or caltrops in proximity of Saturnian property; unauthorized usage of lifeforce redirection techniques on or near Saturnian property; unauthorized use of ethyl alcohol or other sanctioned noolytic agents; pillaging; freebooting; long-term placement of non-sentient avian life on catdroid, especially but not limited to shoulders; overuse or willful misuse of rhotic consonants; use of mammalian skeletal components as a symbol of criminal affiliation or marque. Note that sodomy and the lash are permissible by prior arrangement with an agent of Saturnian interests, as is the use of blowguns and inhalant bombs upon catdroids with certain authorized psychotropic agents.